What Not To Ask The Bride
Whether it’s your first wedding invite or your fifteenth, here’s your chance to learn, laugh, and not be that guest every bride warns her planner about.
"La Fiancée Hésitante," translated to "The Hesitant Fiancée" or "The Reluctant Bride," is an 1866 painting by French painter Auguste Toulmouche depicting a royally upset woman about to be married.
1. “Can I bring my kids?”
If the invitation doesn’t specifically say “and family” or list your little ones by name — that’s your answer. Weddings are expensive, carefully planned events, and guest lists are often tighter than a bridesmaid dress zipper on wedding morning. Trust that the couple made their choices thoughtfully.
(Pro tip: find a sitter early and enjoy a rare kid-free night!)
2. “Can I bring a plus one?”
If your invitation says your name — and only your name — the RSVP is for one. The couple didn’t “forget” your partner; they just have a guest list and budget that need to stay balanced. Adding a plus-one last minute is like asking the caterer to make an extra soufflé mid-dinner service — it’s just not happening.
3. “Can I bring a friend or family member as my Plus 1?”
This one’s somehow worse. A plus-one (if granted) usually means a significant other — not your sibling visiting from out of town, your mom who “loves weddings,” or your best friend who “would totally vibe with the crowd.” Brides hate being put in the position of explaining why your random plus-one can’t join the biggest, most expensive dinner party of their lives.
4. “Is this dress okay?”
If you’re second-guessing whether your dress is appropriate for the big day, that’s usually a sign it’s not. A good rule of thumb: steer clear of anything too bridal — especially dresses in shades of white, ivory, or beige as a base even if they have a pattern over it. And if you need a second opinion, text a fellow guest, not the person getting married.
5. “What time should I get there?”
If the invitation says 5:00 PM, that’s when the ceremony starts. Not when you should start looking for parking, ordering your Uber, or getting dressed. Arrive 15–20 minutes early — it’s the easiest way to show respect for the couple and avoid the awkward walk of shame down the aisle mid-vows.
6. “Can you send me the registry link again?”
Brides put so much time into building those registries — and it’s all neatly printed on the invite, wedding website, or shower info card. Asking for it again just adds another tiny task to her list. If you lost the link, Google the couple’s names + “registry.” It’s 2025. The internet’s your friend.
